Physicists Discover New Particle: Introducing the Retentron
December 16th, 2007 | by Mitchell Allen | 
Photo by jurvetson
Specialists in sub-nuclear particle research have discovered a new particle of energy.
The particle, one millionth the size of an iota of information, has been dubbed the retentron.
It travels at one third the speed of light, which is twice as slow as attention, its antimatter counterpart.
Dr. Rip V. Winkle, the lead scientist on the team had this to say:
“It’s a sort of reddish taupe. Looks a bit like the old gray matter, if you ask me. We were going to call it the retention, but Oscar in marketing nixed it. All in all, it was a good day in the lab.”
With so much press being given to the attention particle, which was recently discovered by R. Schefren, it appears that it will be some time before the world realizes the importance of the retentron.
Winkle notes that the retentron is the first known particle that is not annihilated when it encounters its antiparticle. “Attention slows down the retentron, but can’t stop it,” observed the good doctor.
One of the first practical applications for this particle is the revival of the written brochure.
Winkle declares, “It sure will be nice to see those elegant structures again. Ultimately, we hope to simplify everything from maps and manuals to pre-employment screening applications.”
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