Mailto:Friends

August 21st, 2008 | by Mitchell Allen |



Photo by uberculture

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

I would love to take control of my email.

I think about how much more time I would have for real work if I ever stopped writing filters for my Mozilla Thunderbird email program.

I spend a fair amount of time fooling with folders, tags, labels and saved searches.

All in the name of efficiency and order.

Who Am I To Disagree?

Experts say that email is one of the most popular services of the Internet.
Heinz Tschabitscher exhorts me to learn everything I can about Mozilla Thunderbird, while LifeHacker tells me that I really only need three folders and some GTD tough love.

Arrrgh!

I Travel The World And The Seven Seas

I can get my email just about anywhere. The real question is, “Do I want to?”

I’m sure the LOLcats will keep until my return.

cat
more animals

Everybody’s Looking For Something

My least favorite emails are the automatic reminders to pay my bills.

Okay, I signed up for them, I’m just saying.

Some Of Them Want To Use You

Spam doesn’t bother me. Thunderbird squelches 95% of it. The Junk Folder has learned to grab 3% of what’s left.

That last 2% is really graphic pharmaceutical information.

Some Of Them Want To Get Used By You

I like email notifications that actually give me the message.

That’s vastly more useful than


Martha Makepeace has signed your guestbook.

See what Martha Makepeace wrote at:

http://www.ryze.com/go/Mitche11

Sometimes, it’s not the email that wastes my time, it’s the notifiers.

Some Of Them Want To Abuse You

The Storm Worm lurks behind every CNN Alert.

Sadly, real threats are masked by all the foolishness circulating the Internet.

I’m not trying to beat anyone up (‘cept maybe cousin Pete), but please:

Do not urge me to boycott Exxon.

Do not warn me not to answer the cell phone if it displays ACE-?

I’d rather not read about the health hazards of Aspartame.

It’s okay to tell me about a virus or other threat, just make sure you verify it:

Some Of Them Want To Be Abused


Whenever I get a phishing attack, I forward it to the appropriate authorities.

No, really. PayPal and EBay both want you to let them know about these nasty emails.

I send them to spoof@paypal.com or spoof@ebay.com.

Why do I bother?

I tried to warn one company, to no avail:

Dear Folks at Slide.com,

I am forwarding this phishing email.

I forgot I WAS registered and was about to click the unsubscribe link.

(My subscription status is not the point, but explains why I would click over.)

Thunderbird saved my bacon.

Sincerely,

Mitchell Allen

This is what came back:


Subject: [Slide Community Support #83340] Presumed PHISHING Email [Fwd: Test your music IQ with new quizzes on Slide TV!]

From: feedback [at] slide.com

Reply-To: feedback [at] slide.com

Precedence: bulk

To: mitch [at] morphodesigns.com

Date: Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:23:34 -0700

Hello Mitchell,

Thanks for writing in. I’ll be happy to help you but first I need a little more information in order to assist you.

You do have an Slide account with one Slideshow.

Is there anything else I can help you with regarding technical issue on your Slide account?

I look forward to your reply!

Cheers,

[Name Mercifully Withheld]

Slide Community Support

http://www.slide.com

Duh.

Cheers,

Mitch

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  1. 10 Responses to “Mailto:Friends”

  2. By Vanessa on Aug 22, 2008 | Reply

    Mitch, this is too funny and not only a wonderful rant, but an outstanding use of the song lyrics!

    Vanessa
    The Right Words – The Right Way

  3. By Mitchell Allen on Aug 22, 2008 | Reply

    Thanks, Vanessa. I’m going to send this link to cousin Pete ;)

    Cheers,

    Mitch

  4. By Pinhole on Aug 22, 2008 | Reply

    Aside from being an example of an outstanding Eurhythmic post, it answers my question of where all the mailboxes go to die.

  5. By Mitchell Allen on Aug 22, 2008 | Reply

    Wow, Pinhole, that’s exactly what someone else said on Flickr. To me, it’s an obsolescence metaphor.

    Thanks for the compliment!

    Cheers,

    Mitch

  6. By organicsyes on Aug 22, 2008 | Reply

    You are so clever:) Now I am singing Annie Lennox…and have a whole new perspective!
    How are you?

  7. By Mitchell Allen on Aug 22, 2008 | Reply

    Hey, Susan!

    I’m fine. I’m glad I could brighten your day with some soulful music. :)

    Cheers,

    Mitch

  8. By Sharon Hurley Hall on Aug 24, 2008 | Reply

    You’ve outdone yourself again, Mitch. Great use of the song and some valuable lessons too.

  9. By Mitchell Allen on Aug 24, 2008 | Reply

    Thanks, Sharon!
    I’ve come a bit closer to realizing the dream, too!
    After studying the post at Entropic Principal, I deleted nearly all of my folders!

    Tinkering with the filters, tags and saved searches has been fun, but the real payoff was the Import/Export Tools that I discovered on the KAOSMOS website. I archived over 7000 old messages, zipped ‘em up and deleted them from Thunderbird.

    Maybe historians will read that stuff, but I sure won’t!

    Cheers,

    Mitch

  10. By Malcolm Campbell on Sep 1, 2008 | Reply

    My search is always for meaningful e-mail. I’m looking for people who say stuff like, “Trick, you knew me back when we both worked for Allstate and you lent me $140 and I finally want to pay it back.”

    Instead, I get way too many messages telling me that some bank I’ve never heard of is having trouble with my account and needs my account number, the name of my favourite high school sweetheart, and my MySpace password to fix it.

    I can see you’re in the same boat.

    Malcolm

  11. By Mitchell Allen on Sep 2, 2008 | Reply

    As the kids say, “OMG!” As in, OMG! How have you been!
    This is like the email I rarely get: an old friend popping in to say hi!

    In addition, OMG! I’m working on a PayPal rant, next!

    I really am happy to see you, Trick!

    Keep in touch,

    Mitch

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